Postpartum

Postpartum is the six week period following child birth, during which the mother undergoes various physical and emotional changes, while the body adapts and copes with new life. Sleepless nights, lesser social life, more physical exertion, strife for perfection, no me time, colicky babies, just plain hormones and so on might get the mother into ‘baby blues’. These blues generally go away with time and when the OB visit occurs at the end of six weeks, she is mostly good to go and ready to drive.

No amount of theoretical knowledge gained from R2I forums, prepared me well enough for what awaits when rubber hits the road. Many said having a low expectation helps. That wasn’t hard for this pessimist. Yet, dealing with two real jet lagged babies (aged three and one) along with the pseudo R2I baby was arduous. Add the humid Chennai weather and my OCD for cleanliness into the mix; we have a rather difficult pill to swallow. I was stuck in this self centered rut of “I am out of my stable comfort zone”. The kids and I reached my hometown mid December. P was arriving a month later after settling matters back in Chicago. I walked into my parents’ house after three long years. Everything was familiar yet different. The warmth and love and comfort of being home, very assuring. The idea of trying to settle into a new place, getting the kids into a new groove, new school, new weather, unpacking five huge suitcases, three boxes and several other boxes that were yet to come, setting up a new house and just starting from scratch – very intimidating. For at least three days, neither my mom nor I understood what was happening. We were slowly getting accustomed to our new routine and each other by just doing the bare minimum to get through the day. S was not even digesting the eggs and milk. K slipped several times on the wet bathroom floors. They sweated perennially, displayed mosquito bites, bumped and fell on the hard marble floors, missed their favorite TV shows but were just elated being around grandparents- nothing could replace the new found joy. On my end, the weather and wetness bothered me quite a bit. We all know that traffic, pollution and commute are all part of the system. Some new found household inefficiencies also bothered me. Growing up I was shielded, but now had to confront the reality –maids and their schedules, smaller refrigerators and washing machines, lack of dryers and ovens, no baby sitters and so on.  And some more.…cannot drive a geared car on the other side of the road, no car seats, can’t use stroller everywhere, no library, no strolls in costco with kids inside the extra large shopping carts or easy access to malls and play areas. My friends used to remark “We get everything here”. Slowly but surely, I learnt that it is totally true- we DO definitely absolutely get everything here.

But this stubborn taurean bull was not treading the big move with ease. ‘Rise above your physical and material needs you self-indulgent, stability seeking idiot’ was my mantra. I kept saying and praying this almost every day. I had to delve deeper into the bigger picture of what life has in store, see the spiritual meaning behind happenings. The fear of unknown and uncertain cannot and should not cripple the present. My mother took me for prayers, gave me time outs by watching my brats- when I got the much needed quiet time at church and power walks.

Then one day, early February during my walk in the park, it just clicked. Suddenly I felt better, the fresh air brushed through my face and I could breathe. As much as I had tried to walk out of my 10 year past, the present proved daunting to walk into. With a great support system aka parents, I had gotten through the six week period and recovered alright- one more time for the third time.