And he is here.

After much wait and a super long labor for the mom, Danny boy arrived on Friday, September 26, 2014 at 5:12 am CST in Milwaukee. They are home now and recovering well I hear. I am glad to be a Perima.

K on Danny boy

After a certain Skype call few days ago, P was asking about Dhanu and stuff. K comes there and remarks - "I don't know when this Daniel is coming. After he comes I will have 2 babies. That's what I'll become. A moder (that's how she says mother). Yes, mother to 2."

We had a good laugh. Like it is not enough there is an aachi, paati, periyamma and of course the real real amma...we have another budding mother here. The boys of the family will be one spoilt lot. On another note, baby girl's not a baby anymore. Tears! When I asked her few days later, what she wanted to be when she grew up - she said "a moder". I almost cried. "I want to be a moder, because that is what my amma is". That statement is a good and bad thing. But the point is, she is changing everyday.

Prem's remark - "Fast forward a few years, and I can see K ordering around Samuel and Daniel (a.k.a Mayandi & Muniyandi :)". Both the thambis will certainly be her side kicks.

C'mon Danny boy! Its about time you make the grand entry. You have been in there 4 days over. Perima, Peripa, Akka and S cannot wait to see you.

The recovery

We decided to get the umpteen stitches on S's forehead about a week later. As life happens, expect the unexpected. How long should removing stitches that have healed fairly well take? It took us about 5 hours. We packed K off to school that day and left the house at 10:00 am to the hospital. The doctor was stitching up someone at the ER and after a brief wait, came by and applied something to numb the little guy's forehead. Seeing that he was falling asleep, he gave a thumbs up for removal after 15 mins. We learnt that he is the head of plastics, with specialization in aesthetics and such. He also explained the reason for old fashioned blue thread stitches and not the fancy dissolvable ones. All made perfect sense. I love love love the doctors here, back home. No more comments on that statement. Zip!

So anyways, the nurse took him into a room and took off 1 stitch. And, the boy just woke up from sleep and jumped...he almost sat up. No one could contain him as they tried to take off 2 more. By now he was screaming his lungs out, his doctor was away for another quick procedure and another doctor rushed in. He refused to budge even a tiny bit. By now, it was time to take the big guns out and they administered a sedative. And guess what! The kid refused to go to sleep. In little increments they still managed to work with him, removing 3 at a time in 1/2 hour intervals hopelessly waiting for him to sleep. S was not crying for the pain, he was numb - but just agitated and anxious seeing the scissors and bright light and stuff. Next door OB/GYN nurse was frustrated seeing the ordeal and asked me hold him down tight - it was 1:30 pm now. They wanted us out of there. She tried ripping out one and screams were back - stronger and louder. After a few minutes, his doctor came from somewhere in scrubs and all...ripped them all out deftly. S fell asleep a second after and we got home. It was 3:00pm.

Nevertheless, thank God for His mercies and S's recovery. The mark will remain on my baby's beautiful face. A painful reminder of my inadequacy.

The fall

It started off just like another day. Waking up and getting the sheets in order, I suddenly heard S crying and P rushing to the room shouting “He needs to go to the hospital”. I took S into my arms and saw it there, between the middle of his forehead and above his left eye brow, an inch deep cut revealing the skull and about ½ inch wide bleeding out. S was whimpering and the cries getting less loud, I was afraid he’ll pass out. Taking a piece of cloth, I pressed the cut to try and stop the bleeding and cried out to God asking that he be okay. In short, he was promptly rushed to the ER, observed there and stitched up by a surgeon over the next hour. I cried when he was given the several local anesthesia shots around the torn flesh. My heart was tight when he cried “Amma, amma, amma” through the 15 minutes they took to stitch him up. I had the lump in my throat the whole time we were in the hospital. K tried her best to comfort S and watched silently as S wailed.

Oh Lord, the woe of being a parent – a negligent one this day. I have been consumed in guilt these two days; after all it is my full time job to look out for these kids. Yet stuff happens between those few minutes when we are not looking. I have a maid to clean once a day and a cook coming in once, to help. What good could I serve! Anyways, all the countless people around have been reminding that it is humanely impossible to keep eyes on them 24x7. The neighbor, cook, maid, a fellow mom, a friend, Prem’s mom, the watchman- nearly everyone around shared stories of their little boys and forehead injuries in an attempt to lessen the load. Still!

I went through the heart wrenching experience twice before with this little guy – first time when he was in the hospital with bronchiolitis – the terrible horrible RSV! Second, when he broke his little elbow falling off the couch. Third time is a charm they say; I pray the spell be broken. And that is thrice before he turns two.

Nevertheless, the crescent bow scar right in the middle of your forehead will remind me of this day forever.

Princess or priceless

Trying to pick a fourth birthday dress for K at a Shopper's Stop. Available shortlisted choice of colors - hot pink, pastel green and deep purple. All the three dresses are like tea length, lacy or velvety, flowing with either self engraved bows or flowers and give a good twirl when the little girl spins in it. The twirl matters in their world- she does that all the time in her pattu paavadai or lehengas. After going through all the above criteria, we are left with what color to pick.

The parents somewhat preferred the deep purple, but K finally picked green. She is keen on the princess thing, says she has moved from tinker bell to princesses. It's hard being a 4 year old, with so much to make up your mind about. So much goes on inside that little head. Naive parents (not privy to her thoughts)  asked why not purple...after all Rapunzel wears purple- she rejected saying Rapunzel wears a lighter purple and not this. Since we (the mother) couldn't find blue to make her Cinderella, she said can settle down for Ariel instead. She actually batted her eyes and asked for green and purple actually. One typical woman! These dresses cost freaking 1.5K each!

Anyways, finally the agreement way back in car was that - each year she be a different princess and get a new color. Ah, the joys of girldom and first steps towards negotiating. Priceless conversations! Hope I can keep up this optimism through the years.

Fish Curry

Before any rant on the recipe and its awesomeness, I admit I am sort of new to the idea of eating fish. Growing up, my mom used to compel me to eat and I ate without enjoying it on the rare occasions. I am slowly starting to experiment the taste and preparation method. I will only write about it when I am convinced it tastes good. I have fried fish a couple of times and it was alright - not great yet. The only 2 types of fish I tried making so far, salmon (while in Chicago) and seer fish/vanjaram here in India. I personally prefer sea fish over pond or river fish. It has a mild salty flavor and is cleaner (inherently). Although in my native Madurai, making veral meen was a tradition and they used to catch it fresh from clear running water. Now, that was 25 years ago and we don't live there- so sticking to sea fish for the moment. River fish will not have the fishy smell at all and sea fish will come with it, especially on the skin. Also, I am NOT for frozen fillets at all - the smell is more when it has been cut up for long and I have an extra sensitive tongue and nose. I like the idea of cooking fish in coconut oil along with curry leaves. This combination renders a pleasant aroma and the flavor penetrates well into the fish. Fish and lemon juice marry very well so, definitely marinate in lemon juice.

That is what I have deduced about fish in the kitchen so far.

For my first attempt, I adapted this recipe http://thesaffronclub.com/uncategorized/madurai-meen-kolambu-hot-n-sour-fish-curry-from-tamil-nadu/. Simplified it for easy home style preparation. I do not like too many ingredients or long recipes, but want to retain the essence or heartiness of the dish as well. Hence it becomes inevitable while preparing things like chicken and fish.

This gravy tastes well the next day and has a deep tangy flavor. Fish in general cooks very fast, about 10-15 minutes is just enough. Over cooking makes it dry when frying/baking. Over cooking might disintegrate the fish in gravy making it a mess of broken fish floating everywhere. Handle it gently while serving and be careful while washing and marinating. Broken fish is a mess! in my world at least. That is why I prefer full slices as opposed to cutting and cooking.

Marinade
Wash the fish with turmeric powder, lemon juice and water. Make a paste of salt, turmeric powder, chilli powder in lemon juice. Apply the thick paste on the steaks on all sides and on the skin as well. Marinate for a couple of hours in the fridge.

Blend to a paste
Gingelly oil/refined oil - 2 tsps
Cumin seeds – 2 tsp
Coriander seeds – 2 tsp
Fenugreek seeds – 1/4 tsp
Whole Pepper Corns – 2 tsp
Dry Red chillies – 2
Shallots/Pearl Onions – 8 or 1/2 a medium sized onion
Garlic Pods – 5

Roast above ingredients in two tsps of oil. When cooled, grind to a fine paste in the blender.

Gravy

Coconut Oil – 4 tbsp
Curry leaves – about 10
Garlic pods – 5 crushed
Onions (preferably shallots) – 1 medium or 15 sliced
Turmeric powder – 1/2 tsp
Red Chilli powder – 1 tsp
Coriander powder – 1 tsp
Salt – to taste
Tomato – 1 medium, chopped
Tamarind Extract - 3 cups of tamarind water made from a lemon sized ball of tamarind
Fish, Vanjaram/Neymeen/Seer fish – 2 large steaks, or about 4 smaller pieces

Take a heavy bottomed wide frying pan or pot, place it on medium heat and add the coconut oil. Add crushed garlic and fry for 1/2 minute. Next fry the onions till raw smell goes away. Add turmeric powder, red chili powder, coriander powder and salt. Fry well for about 5 minutes. Add the masala paste and fry another 5 minutes till the oil starts separating. Add chopped tomato and cook well. To this add the tamarind water and bring to a boil. Close the pan with a lid and simmer for 15 minutes till a gravy starts forming. By now you will see oil separating on the top of the gravy.

Then place the fish slices and curry leaves at the bottom and gently stir in once. Now let the whole thing boil on medium heat with a covered lid for 10 minutes. Fish curry done.