Aviyal

During the couple of years I lived in Mangalore, visits to Kairali were regular with mallu friends from work. Parottas were really good. Don't know to make them. Later Pramod spent two years at Calicut during which we went to a buffet - completely Kerala style. Just over the top, great food. Chicago days, we had the privilege of enjoying various mallu delectables at Simon brothers house. Therefore, I have quite a liking for Kerala food and an edge for the aroma of fresh coconut. My mother is an expert at Puttu, Aapam, Idiyappam, Paniyaram, Egg curry, several kurmas and curries that use the lovely coconut/coconut milk.

Aviyal, a medley of vegetables cooked in yogurt and coconut paste is one of our favorites. This is a dish sans onions and tomatoes- gives me a relief from chopping the onion/tomato for once. The simplicity lends into its beauty. There are some not so positive opinions around coconut and its influence on cholesterol. However, I believe moderation is the key. We generally chop the vegetables for Aviyal into chunks of larger cubes, not dice them. Today I used a mix of carrots, beans, white pumpkin (winter melon), potato and jackfruit seeds. Raw bananas, yam, orange pumpkin (kumbalakai), drumsticks, raw mango and so on are usually added. Like sambar, the choice of vegetables impact the taste/aroma of the dish to a certain degree. I have seen frozen mix of Aviyal vegetables, but nothing beats the goodness of fresh.

Vegetables - 2 to 3 cups

Turmeric - 1 tsp

Salt - 2 tsps

Grated coconut - 1/3 cup

Green chillies - 3

Cumin seeds - 1 tsp

Yogurt - 1 cup

Coconut oil - 3 tsps

Hing - 1/2 tsp

Mustard and jeera seeds - 1 tsp

Curry leaves - a sprig

Boil the vegetables in a cup or cup and half of water (I'd say medium flame), along with turmeric and salt - do not boil them to mushiness. Let it it be 'just' cooked, with a little crunch. I took about 10 mins. Meanwhile, blend the  coconut, cumin seeds and green chillies into a smooth paste. Also, beat/whisk the yogurt till smooth. Simmer the vegetables, add in the coconut paste. Soon after, add in yogurt. Cook on low flame for about 10-15 mins for the flavors to get absorbed and curry to thicken. In another pan, temper mustard, jeera, curry leaves with hing in coconut oil. Pour the hot tempered stuff on aviyal. Done. Aviyal ready to enjoy with rice as a side, or can be mixed with rice as the main dish for those who prefer a mild meal.

Postpartum

Postpartum is the six week period following child birth, during which the mother undergoes various physical and emotional changes, while the body adapts and copes with new life. Sleepless nights, lesser social life, more physical exertion, strife for perfection, no me time, colicky babies, just plain hormones and so on might get the mother into ‘baby blues’. These blues generally go away with time and when the OB visit occurs at the end of six weeks, she is mostly good to go and ready to drive.

No amount of theoretical knowledge gained from R2I forums, prepared me well enough for what awaits when rubber hits the road. Many said having a low expectation helps. That wasn’t hard for this pessimist. Yet, dealing with two real jet lagged babies (aged three and one) along with the pseudo R2I baby was arduous. Add the humid Chennai weather and my OCD for cleanliness into the mix; we have a rather difficult pill to swallow. I was stuck in this self centered rut of “I am out of my stable comfort zone”. The kids and I reached my hometown mid December. P was arriving a month later after settling matters back in Chicago. I walked into my parents’ house after three long years. Everything was familiar yet different. The warmth and love and comfort of being home, very assuring. The idea of trying to settle into a new place, getting the kids into a new groove, new school, new weather, unpacking five huge suitcases, three boxes and several other boxes that were yet to come, setting up a new house and just starting from scratch – very intimidating. For at least three days, neither my mom nor I understood what was happening. We were slowly getting accustomed to our new routine and each other by just doing the bare minimum to get through the day. S was not even digesting the eggs and milk. K slipped several times on the wet bathroom floors. They sweated perennially, displayed mosquito bites, bumped and fell on the hard marble floors, missed their favorite TV shows but were just elated being around grandparents- nothing could replace the new found joy. On my end, the weather and wetness bothered me quite a bit. We all know that traffic, pollution and commute are all part of the system. Some new found household inefficiencies also bothered me. Growing up I was shielded, but now had to confront the reality –maids and their schedules, smaller refrigerators and washing machines, lack of dryers and ovens, no baby sitters and so on.  And some more.…cannot drive a geared car on the other side of the road, no car seats, can’t use stroller everywhere, no library, no strolls in costco with kids inside the extra large shopping carts or easy access to malls and play areas. My friends used to remark “We get everything here”. Slowly but surely, I learnt that it is totally true- we DO definitely absolutely get everything here.

But this stubborn taurean bull was not treading the big move with ease. ‘Rise above your physical and material needs you self-indulgent, stability seeking idiot’ was my mantra. I kept saying and praying this almost every day. I had to delve deeper into the bigger picture of what life has in store, see the spiritual meaning behind happenings. The fear of unknown and uncertain cannot and should not cripple the present. My mother took me for prayers, gave me time outs by watching my brats- when I got the much needed quiet time at church and power walks.

Then one day, early February during my walk in the park, it just clicked. Suddenly I felt better, the fresh air brushed through my face and I could breathe. As much as I had tried to walk out of my 10 year past, the present proved daunting to walk into. With a great support system aka parents, I had gotten through the six week period and recovered alright- one more time for the third time.

Letting Go

Greetings from Mysore, India! 'Breaking out of the cocoon' might have befit the title for a post after the 6 month silence, since I left Chicago and arrived in India. More on that later, but reminding myself of my thoughts from before. I need to eat my own words! That sums my present.

K remarked from the car window (while we were at a red light) saying “Mama mama, look at that little small tiny bird on the tree”. I turned and noticed a black sparrow type of bird on the top of the tree. She then said “It’s crying because its mommy is not there”. Her exact words, not making it up. As if the bird heard, it flew to an adjacent tree to two bigger birds. K saw that and smiled a happy smile. I just savored that innocent adorable moment. At the same time, my head was saying “as long as it lasts”.  If she is Perry Winkle, I am Tinker Bell. If she is Chutki, I am Indumati. If she is Snow White, I am Belle. She is into role playing big time. Childhood bliss at its peak as long as it lasts. One day I have to let her fly out of the nest. I recently read a mom story wherein her teenage daughter left for college. She had to let go and believe that her baby will be alright. That, it is time for all the grooming that happened to bloom. A time to sow and a time to reap. A time to hang on and a time to let go.

We need to move to India four days before the Christmas program at K’s school. Hard for me- more than her. She was pleasantly singing “We wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year” after school today. They are probably teaching the children the songs. These are moments that I need to let go. Change is hard when you are being shaken out of the comfort zone. But if you never let go, you might never know what is on the other side. Someone said a clichéd statement “You let go, if it’s meant to be – it will be”. Maybe it is true. To everything there is a season. In no ways does any of this mean that you don’t take effort. This is not the 'let go' that birthed from the 'did not try'. Hard work precedes all matters. And persistence is key in every situation. May the Lord grant the wisdom to know the difference. That is my take.

With my past two jobs, I let go amidst many doubts. I read somewhere that you learn to let go before learning to get. I know for sure the first time no regrets and this time, even better and necessary. With change, there are things given up and things gained. A beautiful thought by Confucius - “The way out is through the door. Why is it that no one will use this method?” Sometimes walking out is the answer. Another zen moment.

So, what are we hanging on to that could be let gone?