Closer

It won't do
to dream of caramel,
to think of cinnamon,
and long for you….I know the way these things begin…

Song from the movie - Closer. A very bold and audacious one. Lines of the song come around Julia Roberts and Jude Law in the story... creates a melting. You Tube has the sound track for those interested. Sparks between two stones light a fire strong to burn down a forest. The story unfolds when Natalie Portman looks at Jude Law and utters her first words - "Hello Stranger". Toying between 4 mature adults sweep them all away- and throughout, the heart rules over the mind. That spices up their relationships. The Caramel song reminds me of what we wish for, what we yearn for and what we seek. Three different things- many desires, all don’t come together. And this indecisiveness costs, and hurts. "Desire is a stranger you think you know"- is one of the taglines I liked. Its never safe playing with fire- isn’t it? Passion bolts down the soul when it gets overboard and sails beyond the fence. The wilderness is exhilarating and sublime- too strong and vaporizes the soul, eventually a mirage.

Love is healing. Evasive and elusive, not easily touchable. But an oasis to the vanishing soul. The journey is timeless- but defies all existence and surpasses everything when the search is over and the treasure in hands. Its one thing to end the search but sustaining hope during the search counts- delays occur and cancellations come on way. It’s seems like chasing the wind- but I hope not. Years of toil and labor of love can crumble down to bits...but the years dont hold a meaning without the search, yet tears fill the search- and sometimes just love isn’t enough. Towards the end Natalie mentions– “Why isn’t just love enough?” The song of the story appears to reflect her role and here is a portion of it- a potion....

AND SO IT IS
just like u said
it would be

Life goes easy on me
most- of the time

And so it is...shorter story
No love no glory
No hero in her sky

I can’t take my eyes off of you
I can’t take my eyes off you
I can’t take my eyes off of you
I can’t take my eyes off you
I can’t take my eyes...

Veil

I don’t know what prompted me to press the checkout button on "The Painted Veil" in the vending machine at the Metro Market. The story line didn’t impress me as much as the 1920s English setup. Normally I love the happy-go-lucky drama/romantic stuff in the movie world-- there’s enough of reality anyways in the day-to-day world. But later that night I concluded otherwise.

A bacteriologist leaves from London to the interiors of China to serve and research in an epidemic breakout of cholera. The wife married the doctor even though she doesn’t love him. Her episode with another man outside of marriage, teaches her love- but that true love is betrayed by the other man's shallow vain flirtatious tendencies. She travels to China with her husband without a choice. The husband and wife live distant in their minds and under the same roof. The slow turn of realistic events bridges the distance between the couple-- they start living marriage without looking for what they wanted in the other—and instead accept the other as they are. The doctor brings about tough changes and establishes improvements in the Chinese village to fight the epidemic. The wife starts seeing a purpose in her daily life assisting nuns at an orphanage in the village under difficult circumstances given her spoilt upbringing back at home. But the end is tough- the doctor victimized by the cruel disease breathes his last asking his wife to forgive him. The once unfaithful wife is left with no words to express and cries her way back to London with a baby in her. The storyline shadows a weeping woman from a Chinese musical in the movie, longing for the love she would never feel and never give again.

Isn’t life is too short to be centered on self and pretence? Paint is just paint and not real. It washes and fades away with time, age and weather—rough weather. Not to say we can all be, or need to be selfless-- but we definitely need to be and do what naturally comes to us--- feel the precious emotions that are instilled in us humans. For instance- to love and be loved is a deep feeling. It is joyous and one of the happiest emotions ever. But the deep it is, the dangerous it gets. And yet the journey in the dark and unknown waters lit by a strange togetherness. The end of that journey need not be the beginning to a happier or a better one always. And the journey itself cannot be evaded. Somewhere, sometime, someday we will all be bitten by that bug, smitten and struck by it. Maybe it’s better to live it, travel it, and do justice to its existence. So why draw a veil over our souls?

I watched the theatrical trailer after "THE END". The punch line read "Sometimes the greatest journey is the distance between 2 people". I wish that- in an ideal world- that journey is a mere concept and not real, that distance zero. But the word “ideal” exists only in the dictionary.

It is well with my soul

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Song pastor sang at church today.

Choices

I wanted to write about a nauseatingly perfect couple from a movie faced with reality in the second half of the story, (btw the term “nauseatingly perfect” never intrigues me lesser), a new year that began without resolutions, a beautiful song from the pastor on a beautiful Sunday morning- but somehow managed not to make it. Went down the “some other higher priority things” whirlpool instead of choosing some little yet important pleasures. We make choices everyday- day after day, year after year at the cross roads of decision making, moving forward- and facing the consequence of the decision. Of late I seem to have chosen work as everything- I don’t know if I had a choice to make that choice??!! And cutting out the “hypothetical management crap” of the “work smarter and faster” concept- it’s challenging to keep up a work-life balance. Scales are titling- weighing down heavily towards the work side as my family and emotions try to pound on the other side to balance the pointer. Someone chooses to go to that college, that job, marry that on- they sweated to make the decision and more important to make it work for them. On the other hand there is another who happened to go to that college which worked out well, happened to get the job that became so enjoyable, happened to marry this guy who turned out to be great. At any time should we make the choice or let go? Or maybe that depends on the cross road I am at- or on my nature, if it’s in my system or not- to make that change or not make changes!! So typical a thought among the 20 somethings- visiting and revisiting priorities and decisions, talking it out with other 20 somethings- till the mid 20s crisis is over- we try to make the right choices that will stay forever till the last breath. But too much thought is vanity they say- With much wisdom comes much sorrow, the more knowledge, the more grief. Should we steer the boat or set the sails to the wind?

In this strange world of ironies it’s hard to pin down the right thing.

As I chose to walk the road am walking already, one of my friends from work is leaving today- taking a diversion to some unknown roads and challenges- he wants to live to his belief than let someone else shape it. May the force go with him as I wish him the very best this day. Again an irony huh?!