Being home

Time to resurrect the blog – maybe now, or it’s never. Reading my posts back from few years brings a smile to my face. Some are funny, some are silly, some are immature – but overall good, nice. Not a bad way to preserve a few memories and thoughts of my 20s. I wish I could have kept up with this online journal. Just so I can “hopefully”- read them a decade later and reminisce, given that the internet age remains or I grow into the whatever new age, if the internet became extinct. Btw, Google would not let me enter the blog unless I accepted one of those new formats available and said okay to a mini data migration to the new version.  Hence my worry for the future and fear of becoming archaic. 

Some growing up has happened over the last years. Most of it has been for good- I think. Six years forward....a job change, a new degree, two children and change of career to SAHM - most of it has been for good I believe. It was all about me earlier, the job, the mental need to be occupied and stretch it a bit, my other half P to some extent. Now, entrusted with two little ones, they are 3 and 1 respectively - life is overwhelming, busy, little scary, demanding and at the same time meaningful and rewarding. Having the children, does add a new dimension and goal to this life on earth one can say. All I pray for now is, that I do justice to this task I am entrusted with, and strength for the journey ahead. I certainly, totally, completely and do miss the job...tailoring and wearing the SAHM dress has not been easy in any way, after working for a long time..twelve years that is. Yes, this topic is a big deal today - coz in this era of empowered women we are supposed to see beyond material and financial needs. In a world where women CEOs exist, making a conscious choice to be home, is not welcome with a warm smile - be it among your erstwhile corporate friends, colleagues or your social circle. I did receive those unwarm smiles. These few months have been the first few months ever, I am home. Various events and situations necessitated this and at this time, all I can do is thank God for this time to reflect and re-purpose things. Thank God for this time to hit the pause button and look at a child's needs, needs beyond physical. To look at children in a deeper sense. Me, being me- knowing me - I could never have done some of that, with a full time job. Again, its just me. Not saying this for all working moms. I adore what all working moms accomplish and at the same time amazed at what all stay at home moms do - being in those shoes now. This has all led to a new sense of respect for my own mom who has above and beyond scarified herself for my sister and myself. Any regrets so far? No. Head over heels? No. Content? Absolutely. Yes.Godliness with contentment is great gain, they say. At least the latter is true. Ah, a zen moment.

Just ending with this line from a song "But life is not a snapshot, it might take a little time. But you'll see the bigger picture". Waiting for that next zen moment.